Hi, I’m Marisa.
I was diagnosed with Lupus in March of 2024. I was showing signs and symptoms for a good 3 years prior to diagnosis. I was already diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 15 years ago.
My autoimmune disease would frustrate the shit out of me. At some point I felt like I was dancing with a demon.
Today, I don’t believe that. Today I see my symptoms as intelligent responses to unintelligent stimuli.
Like when I flare, I know it’s my body telling me to slow the f down. Especially as a single Mom with 2 kids working 2 jobs. That’s a very unintelligent thing- to think I’m not enough, to think I have to solve every problem, to think the world wouldn’t survive without me. To think there’s no time for rest.
And this time, I learned to rest so I CAN dance. Because dance for me is a wonder drug full of incredible medicine that frees me from some of the other intelligent stimuli: like always being soft and sweet. Horseshit. Sometimes I want to be sharp like a hip drop. Or that I have to remain grounded in this dumb reality when instead I want to fly into another, like how an arabesque feels.
Doctors have told me time and time again that I am the healthiest looking sick person they’ve ever seen, that their Lupus patients don’t have the level of activity that I do. I attribute that to dance honestly.
So as the year is coming to a close and some of you might be wishing for a new body reality, I invite you to first make this a reality: your body is not attacking itself. Your body is giving you feedback by symptoms that it loves you so much, it will stop you from going down the wrong path. With any type of illness or disease. The adjustments necessary to get back on path aren’t usually life altering situations that should cause you more fear or worry. They’re often small adjustments like the basics; food, sleep, environment. Please don’t get me wrong, I understand we don’t all have the same privileges. Life sucks, it’s unfair. I wish to holy high Heaven I could solve that. But whatever wiggle room you have within your means to make the smallest adjustment towards health and well being, I encourage you to make it. Sometimes all it takes for me is a 15 minute cat nap before teaching. Or doing one less errand. Or leaving the sink full of dishes. Or if you do decide to take that dance class, let go of the impact or dancing at your top energy for a class. You’ll still reap the benefit of movement.
I remember one of my Mother’s famous lines any time she saw someone confronting pain, “I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away.”
I wish I could do that for you. I know so many of us are carrying ridiculous burdens in life. I spend a lot of time myself wishing shit away.
But, I could invite you to dance with me in 2025. Judgment free. Full of compassion. With an abundance of hope that you get to experience freedom if even for a nanosecond of the burdens you’re carrying when you show up to dance.
More than once I’ve had to remind myself if there’s a will, there’s a way. Sometimes that way is one small dance step into new territory. Change and progress is slow. It often happens when we’re not looking.
So bring it to class; your fears, worries, stresses, burdens and the fullness of your humanity. I will not abandon bodies that don’t feel their best. Instead, I will love them and accept them just as I have mine.
Wishing you a better 2025 than 2024.
All my love and support,
Marisa
Director of Professional Development at SharQui